Dear Lynn and Stephen,
I hope this letter finds you both well and not too exhausted after recent proceedings; you both remain firmly in my prayers, as does the wider Union as we continue to discern God’s guidance in this and other areas.
As I believe you both know, plans are well under for myself and my partner Steven to marry at Bloomsbury Central Baptist on the 3rd December of this year. This has most likely been a long time coming, or at least so I’ve been told. We have remained in a committed relationship with each other for a number of years, following a long period of friendship which spans back to our days at Sixth Form College. In many ways, our relationship has been fairly “by the book” and we have been blessed to find not only acceptance at Bloomsbury, but a home (literally these days as we now rent one of the Church’s fourth floor flats).
Bloomsbury’s affirming position, whilst not the only reason I chose to begin worshipping with the fellowship, spoke volumes to me at a time when I was beginning to re-explore a call to ministry which had years previously been closed to me. I studied at Spurgeon’s whilst working alongside a large ministry team at Seaford Baptist until 2011, during which time I ticked all the necessary boxes needed for ministerial recognition, although not actually receiving the handshake at the end of it all. I found I could not bring myself to sign my acceptance of the crudely expressed dismissal of “same-sex genital relations” and asked myself and peers whether the same level of scrutiny was applied to heterosexual couples who were not married, or even single heterosexual applicants for ministerial recognition – the answer was and remains: no. During this three-year period of training and study, much of my focus was on a period of discernment with BMS, in which I spent a lot of time with senior members of the BMS team discussing the progression of my training (which I began under largely under their encouragement) and exploring our combined sense of my call to ministry, particularly abroad. As my time at Spurgeon’s drew to a close, I attended the two day BMS long-term residential selection process in Birmingham, hopeful that I would soon be off to the IMC for my training ahead of placement. As things transpired, I did not make it through the process, largely it seems because of my status as a single man. What was eluded to at the time, but not pressed upon, was my sexuality; something that I had not yet fully come to terms with myself, and although I was committed to a single life at that point, I still remained ineligible for mission abroad with BMS. In a few short years I had gone from being driven by a sense of Divine calling to ministry to the marginalised, particularly abroad, to now facing down redundancy from a financially struggling Church and with no real direction as to where to go to next. Discriminatory doors were closing on me and I felt prompted to take a break from Church structures and politics.
During the few years that followed, I sought employment elsewhere as it became clear that an out gay man (which I quickly became soon after leaving Seaford Baptist) would find little refuge in a Church, let alone employment as a Baptist Minister. It has been both a rewarding and challenging few years; I now deeply empathise with all our hardworking and dedicated volunteers who give so much of their free time after long working days and have been given an insight to the “real world” that I just would not have received had I continued straight into ministry, ordained or otherwise. However, particularly over the last two years, my heart has felt torn in two on a daily basis. I must work to support myself but I cannot fully do what I continually feel God has called to me to do – I cannot fully give myself to the declaration of His Good News when I have to be on a business call instead of at an evening service, or handling a corporate crisis when I want to be fellowshipping with our community of rough sleepers at Bloomsbury.
However, the Union’s statement in 2014 gave me hope. Hope that I might one day sit as an equal to others who have had to fight just as hard for their call to ministry, and others who haven’t. It also allowed me to act on my call to marriage, which I view as a calling of equal (albeit different) value to my call to ministry. Whilst I do not particularly hold any sacramental views of holy spaces, I made it clear to myself and others that whilst I could not marry in a Church, I would not. 2014 forced me to put my money where my mouth is, and I’m ecstatic that it did.
2016 has forced me to revaluate my commitment to a Union who I have felt increasingly let down by over the years. Whilst I chose to identify as Baptist because of our ecclesiology and our value of the Church-body’s discernment of the mind of Christ, I am challenged as to whether I can identify with a Union who seeks mutual respect from one party, whilst inferring that the other need not bother. I struggle to be as proud of the Union as I was two years ago, when I told my friends and family that I would soon be able to marry Steve, in a Church, before God and my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I am heart broken that whilst the Union seems to be able to hold the disagreement regarding women in ministry in tension, that I remain firmly a second class citizen and actively discriminated against regarding my own personal call to ministry. I am angry that the theological integrity of both my peers and myself is questioned and that issues of human sexuality are being used as a litmus test for evangelical orthodoxy. We are Baptists: dissenting, disagreeing and living in the tension is part of our history and I am saddened to see that fall to the wayside.
However, I choose to live in hope. Over the last eight months I have begun my Masters in Biblical Studies at King’s College London. It is my hope that through this next stage in my education and discipleship I will be another voice in the conversation – a voice that speaks out for the marginalised whist not forcing others to agree with my discerned and hard-fought beliefs. Through the inclusive and affirming work Bloomsbury is committed to, we are seeing our congregation grow. We remain committed to being a voice to the voiceless and hope for the hopeless, whatever their sexuality and whilst it may seem that I am ungrateful for all your hard work, I am deeply grateful that the recent statement at least permits some movement for our missionary work to continue.
I apologise that this letter has become rather more about my testimony than any particular theological viewpoint (although I have ample thought on that too), but I felt it important that you should hear from someone whose life continues to be impacted by these decisions and whose ministry, and almost marriage, has been curtailed because of them.
With blessings in Christ,
Luke
I hope this letter finds you both well and not too exhausted after recent proceedings; you both remain firmly in my prayers, as does the wider Union as we continue to discern God’s guidance in this and other areas.
As I believe you both know, plans are well under for myself and my partner Steven to marry at Bloomsbury Central Baptist on the 3rd December of this year. This has most likely been a long time coming, or at least so I’ve been told. We have remained in a committed relationship with each other for a number of years, following a long period of friendship which spans back to our days at Sixth Form College. In many ways, our relationship has been fairly “by the book” and we have been blessed to find not only acceptance at Bloomsbury, but a home (literally these days as we now rent one of the Church’s fourth floor flats).
Bloomsbury’s affirming position, whilst not the only reason I chose to begin worshipping with the fellowship, spoke volumes to me at a time when I was beginning to re-explore a call to ministry which had years previously been closed to me. I studied at Spurgeon’s whilst working alongside a large ministry team at Seaford Baptist until 2011, during which time I ticked all the necessary boxes needed for ministerial recognition, although not actually receiving the handshake at the end of it all. I found I could not bring myself to sign my acceptance of the crudely expressed dismissal of “same-sex genital relations” and asked myself and peers whether the same level of scrutiny was applied to heterosexual couples who were not married, or even single heterosexual applicants for ministerial recognition – the answer was and remains: no. During this three-year period of training and study, much of my focus was on a period of discernment with BMS, in which I spent a lot of time with senior members of the BMS team discussing the progression of my training (which I began under largely under their encouragement) and exploring our combined sense of my call to ministry, particularly abroad. As my time at Spurgeon’s drew to a close, I attended the two day BMS long-term residential selection process in Birmingham, hopeful that I would soon be off to the IMC for my training ahead of placement. As things transpired, I did not make it through the process, largely it seems because of my status as a single man. What was eluded to at the time, but not pressed upon, was my sexuality; something that I had not yet fully come to terms with myself, and although I was committed to a single life at that point, I still remained ineligible for mission abroad with BMS. In a few short years I had gone from being driven by a sense of Divine calling to ministry to the marginalised, particularly abroad, to now facing down redundancy from a financially struggling Church and with no real direction as to where to go to next. Discriminatory doors were closing on me and I felt prompted to take a break from Church structures and politics.
During the few years that followed, I sought employment elsewhere as it became clear that an out gay man (which I quickly became soon after leaving Seaford Baptist) would find little refuge in a Church, let alone employment as a Baptist Minister. It has been both a rewarding and challenging few years; I now deeply empathise with all our hardworking and dedicated volunteers who give so much of their free time after long working days and have been given an insight to the “real world” that I just would not have received had I continued straight into ministry, ordained or otherwise. However, particularly over the last two years, my heart has felt torn in two on a daily basis. I must work to support myself but I cannot fully do what I continually feel God has called to me to do – I cannot fully give myself to the declaration of His Good News when I have to be on a business call instead of at an evening service, or handling a corporate crisis when I want to be fellowshipping with our community of rough sleepers at Bloomsbury.
However, the Union’s statement in 2014 gave me hope. Hope that I might one day sit as an equal to others who have had to fight just as hard for their call to ministry, and others who haven’t. It also allowed me to act on my call to marriage, which I view as a calling of equal (albeit different) value to my call to ministry. Whilst I do not particularly hold any sacramental views of holy spaces, I made it clear to myself and others that whilst I could not marry in a Church, I would not. 2014 forced me to put my money where my mouth is, and I’m ecstatic that it did.
2016 has forced me to revaluate my commitment to a Union who I have felt increasingly let down by over the years. Whilst I chose to identify as Baptist because of our ecclesiology and our value of the Church-body’s discernment of the mind of Christ, I am challenged as to whether I can identify with a Union who seeks mutual respect from one party, whilst inferring that the other need not bother. I struggle to be as proud of the Union as I was two years ago, when I told my friends and family that I would soon be able to marry Steve, in a Church, before God and my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I am heart broken that whilst the Union seems to be able to hold the disagreement regarding women in ministry in tension, that I remain firmly a second class citizen and actively discriminated against regarding my own personal call to ministry. I am angry that the theological integrity of both my peers and myself is questioned and that issues of human sexuality are being used as a litmus test for evangelical orthodoxy. We are Baptists: dissenting, disagreeing and living in the tension is part of our history and I am saddened to see that fall to the wayside.
However, I choose to live in hope. Over the last eight months I have begun my Masters in Biblical Studies at King’s College London. It is my hope that through this next stage in my education and discipleship I will be another voice in the conversation – a voice that speaks out for the marginalised whist not forcing others to agree with my discerned and hard-fought beliefs. Through the inclusive and affirming work Bloomsbury is committed to, we are seeing our congregation grow. We remain committed to being a voice to the voiceless and hope for the hopeless, whatever their sexuality and whilst it may seem that I am ungrateful for all your hard work, I am deeply grateful that the recent statement at least permits some movement for our missionary work to continue.
I apologise that this letter has become rather more about my testimony than any particular theological viewpoint (although I have ample thought on that too), but I felt it important that you should hear from someone whose life continues to be impacted by these decisions and whose ministry, and almost marriage, has been curtailed because of them.
With blessings in Christ,
Luke