Dear Lynn and Stephen,
I have delayed writing this letter for a few reasons. One is that my husband and I with our five-month-old son made the move from the North East of England to the Welsh marches this week. The preparations, etc. have occupied much of our time attention and energy over the last few weeks. Another is that I had no idea my feedback was wanted, as it had not been sought. A third is a general feeling of disenchantment with the Union and a belief that nothing I can say will make any difference, but I decided I couldn’t say that no one would listen if I didn’t at least try to be heard, so here goes.
To introduce myself and give a little background, my husband was a Baptist minister when I married him. He received his handshake at the London Assembly (2012, I think). He left his first church in 2014, after six years of ministry, to support me as I became a Minister in Training with NBC. When I fell pregnant, my training placement fell apart. I have extended my maternity leave from College, and we have moved to the Welsh marches where we both feel at home. My husband has taken up caring work, his career before he went to college, as the churches in this area are generally much more conservative than we, and are usually equally unable to support a minister.
I received the email notifying ministers of the BU Council’s new statement with regard to marriage equality while in the midst of preparations to move, and I was deeply disturbed by its contents. The long introduction seemed intended to act as a blow softener, and the more I read the more I dreaded what the ending would be.
The statement was clearly worded in an attempt to reconcile both sides, but not in a way I would recognise as mutual or respectful. The suppression of conscience for the sake of unity strikes me as a dangerous precedent and contrary to our Baptist principles and the Declaration of Principle. It is certainly not a practice one would encourage in other areas of life, suppression of conscience is tantamount to deception, a bad ingredient in any relationship. Forcing, suggesting or urging individuals and churches to live or act contrary to their conscience is effectively keeping them in the closet and will, sooner or later, breed resentment.
For my husband it was sooner; he resigned from the Accredited list within a week of the release of this statement. For him, the Council’s statement acted as the last straw in his relationship with the Union and its member churches, an affirmation that he and his views are not welcome within the BUGB community. For myself, it has raised serious questions over my desire to complete my training. I doubt whether I can affirm the code of conduct for ministers. It seems BU Council does not seriously respect my views or wish to include my theology within the wider Union. I am welcome, but only if I will conform, suppress my conscience and refrain from rocking the boat.
It is my sincere hope that the BU may soon be able to embrace a position that affirms the freedom of conscience of all churches and ministers on this issue to go, or to stay, and encourages churches to remain in the Union because they value associating together and the other benefits the Union offers, not because they, or others, are willing to suspend their conscience, suppress conversation or further alienate the marginalised and scarred from our churches.
Regards,
Robyn Shepherd
I have delayed writing this letter for a few reasons. One is that my husband and I with our five-month-old son made the move from the North East of England to the Welsh marches this week. The preparations, etc. have occupied much of our time attention and energy over the last few weeks. Another is that I had no idea my feedback was wanted, as it had not been sought. A third is a general feeling of disenchantment with the Union and a belief that nothing I can say will make any difference, but I decided I couldn’t say that no one would listen if I didn’t at least try to be heard, so here goes.
To introduce myself and give a little background, my husband was a Baptist minister when I married him. He received his handshake at the London Assembly (2012, I think). He left his first church in 2014, after six years of ministry, to support me as I became a Minister in Training with NBC. When I fell pregnant, my training placement fell apart. I have extended my maternity leave from College, and we have moved to the Welsh marches where we both feel at home. My husband has taken up caring work, his career before he went to college, as the churches in this area are generally much more conservative than we, and are usually equally unable to support a minister.
I received the email notifying ministers of the BU Council’s new statement with regard to marriage equality while in the midst of preparations to move, and I was deeply disturbed by its contents. The long introduction seemed intended to act as a blow softener, and the more I read the more I dreaded what the ending would be.
The statement was clearly worded in an attempt to reconcile both sides, but not in a way I would recognise as mutual or respectful. The suppression of conscience for the sake of unity strikes me as a dangerous precedent and contrary to our Baptist principles and the Declaration of Principle. It is certainly not a practice one would encourage in other areas of life, suppression of conscience is tantamount to deception, a bad ingredient in any relationship. Forcing, suggesting or urging individuals and churches to live or act contrary to their conscience is effectively keeping them in the closet and will, sooner or later, breed resentment.
For my husband it was sooner; he resigned from the Accredited list within a week of the release of this statement. For him, the Council’s statement acted as the last straw in his relationship with the Union and its member churches, an affirmation that he and his views are not welcome within the BUGB community. For myself, it has raised serious questions over my desire to complete my training. I doubt whether I can affirm the code of conduct for ministers. It seems BU Council does not seriously respect my views or wish to include my theology within the wider Union. I am welcome, but only if I will conform, suppress my conscience and refrain from rocking the boat.
It is my sincere hope that the BU may soon be able to embrace a position that affirms the freedom of conscience of all churches and ministers on this issue to go, or to stay, and encourages churches to remain in the Union because they value associating together and the other benefits the Union offers, not because they, or others, are willing to suspend their conscience, suppress conversation or further alienate the marginalised and scarred from our churches.
Regards,
Robyn Shepherd