Recently, I received an email from a Christian puppeteer, juggler and children's entertainer from the US who will be staying over in our city during a mission trip in October. He was looking for a church where he could offer to run a children's and family evangelistic event and contacted us via our church website. I replied to him saying we were very interested and he came back to me wanting to check something out before agreeing to come.
He'd noticed that "we welcome people of every age, culture background and sexuality" and wanted to check out whether we "allow practicing homosexuals to serve in leadership positions of the church?" He went on to say, "I realize the difference between treating the homosexual with love, dignity, honor and respect [I heartily agree], vs. accepting or endorsing the homosexual lifestyle [I completely disagree]."
My reply to him (with his name removed) is below. I share this partly because it gives something of my church's journey on this issue over the last few years. But also, I really don't believe God wants his church to tear itself apart over this issue. I think it was Bishop Tom Wright who said: "The Church is very good at choosing to fight to the death in the wrong field". Anyway, here it is.
"Dear XXXX,
Thanks once again for your prompt (and lengthy!) reply.
However, I have to say, I'm disappointed that from your email, it seems as though our attitude to homosexuality is the one issue that would stop you being able to be involved in our "Bring a friend" outreach service. We could be a church which refuses to accept any women in positions of authority: would that be a barrier to your involvement? Or what about if we held an extreme reformed theology (as a church a couple of miles from us does) which means that they have a very narrow view of who the elect is and who can therefore be saved: would this be a non-negotiable?
Let me tell you a little about our journey on this issue. As a church, we have debated this issue over a number of years. In our deliberations, I referred to a number of gay Christians friends of mine, who for years (or even decades) tried to deny their own sexuality, and suffered low self-esteem, depression and great loneliness in the process. Each of them finally reached the point of saying: "How can a God whose essence is love have created me to be someone who is detested by him?" We also noted that on certain issues, much of the worldwide Church has recognised that some of the Bible's teaching was for a particular time and culture. So despite 1 Timothy 2:11-15, 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 and other passages, many churches have women in positions of authority. Similarly, despite Leviticus 25:44-46, Ephesians 6:5, Colossians 3:22 and other passages, the Church has universally rejected slavery. We also recognised that much of the Church has for many decades demonised and vilified gay people and any message of God's love has been lost.
Before we voted in a church meeting, it became clear that there was still some diversity of opinion amongst our membership on this issue, but we decided to hold together in love despite these differences, and to recognise that the overarching essence of God's character is love. We therefore voted that if someone in a same-sex relationship wanted to be baptised and become a church member, we would simply use the pastoral system which we already have, in which a person is visited by two existing members in order to learn about their life and faith journey. After the visitors report back to a church meeting, the person can then be approved and welcomed into membership.
In reading your email, my biggest disappointment is not that we disagree on this issue of sexuality, as sometimes Christians do have different opinions on a variety of subjects. My real disappointment is that, because you hold a different viewpoint on this, that you are unwilling to offer your skills to help us in simply sharing the gospel with people in our local community. My final thought on this is: if Jesus wanted the issue of sexual orientation to be the "dealbreaker" over which the church should be prepared fight to the death, why did he not make a single statement on it during his whole ministry?
I pray that whichever churches you do work with are blessed by your ministry."
He'd noticed that "we welcome people of every age, culture background and sexuality" and wanted to check out whether we "allow practicing homosexuals to serve in leadership positions of the church?" He went on to say, "I realize the difference between treating the homosexual with love, dignity, honor and respect [I heartily agree], vs. accepting or endorsing the homosexual lifestyle [I completely disagree]."
My reply to him (with his name removed) is below. I share this partly because it gives something of my church's journey on this issue over the last few years. But also, I really don't believe God wants his church to tear itself apart over this issue. I think it was Bishop Tom Wright who said: "The Church is very good at choosing to fight to the death in the wrong field". Anyway, here it is.
"Dear XXXX,
Thanks once again for your prompt (and lengthy!) reply.
However, I have to say, I'm disappointed that from your email, it seems as though our attitude to homosexuality is the one issue that would stop you being able to be involved in our "Bring a friend" outreach service. We could be a church which refuses to accept any women in positions of authority: would that be a barrier to your involvement? Or what about if we held an extreme reformed theology (as a church a couple of miles from us does) which means that they have a very narrow view of who the elect is and who can therefore be saved: would this be a non-negotiable?
Let me tell you a little about our journey on this issue. As a church, we have debated this issue over a number of years. In our deliberations, I referred to a number of gay Christians friends of mine, who for years (or even decades) tried to deny their own sexuality, and suffered low self-esteem, depression and great loneliness in the process. Each of them finally reached the point of saying: "How can a God whose essence is love have created me to be someone who is detested by him?" We also noted that on certain issues, much of the worldwide Church has recognised that some of the Bible's teaching was for a particular time and culture. So despite 1 Timothy 2:11-15, 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 and other passages, many churches have women in positions of authority. Similarly, despite Leviticus 25:44-46, Ephesians 6:5, Colossians 3:22 and other passages, the Church has universally rejected slavery. We also recognised that much of the Church has for many decades demonised and vilified gay people and any message of God's love has been lost.
Before we voted in a church meeting, it became clear that there was still some diversity of opinion amongst our membership on this issue, but we decided to hold together in love despite these differences, and to recognise that the overarching essence of God's character is love. We therefore voted that if someone in a same-sex relationship wanted to be baptised and become a church member, we would simply use the pastoral system which we already have, in which a person is visited by two existing members in order to learn about their life and faith journey. After the visitors report back to a church meeting, the person can then be approved and welcomed into membership.
In reading your email, my biggest disappointment is not that we disagree on this issue of sexuality, as sometimes Christians do have different opinions on a variety of subjects. My real disappointment is that, because you hold a different viewpoint on this, that you are unwilling to offer your skills to help us in simply sharing the gospel with people in our local community. My final thought on this is: if Jesus wanted the issue of sexual orientation to be the "dealbreaker" over which the church should be prepared fight to the death, why did he not make a single statement on it during his whole ministry?
I pray that whichever churches you do work with are blessed by your ministry."