Dear Lynn and Stephen
On 13 May 2014 the Baptist Union of Great Britain told me that they were “Upholding the liberty of a local church to determine its own mind on this matter, in accordance with our Declaration of Principle, we also recognise the freedom of a minister to respond to the wishes of their church, where their conscience permits, without breach of disciplinary guidelines.”
This was a great day. This was a day when I felt proud to be a Christian, in particular I felt proud to be a Baptist. Prior to that I was just Christian, I did not belong to any one denomination, if anything I was leaning slightly towards other denominations, particularly the URC as they were more accepting.
That statement meant the world to me. It meant that a teenager associated with our church could post on her Facebook page that now one day she could get married in her own church. It meant that a lady in our area, who had given up attending church because she was a lesbian, was able to join us and is now a church member. It meant that a male atheist friend who hates Christians and Christianity because he sees it as standing for oppression and judgement was able to come to church with his partner and feel welcomed even though they held hands during the service. I love all three of those people and I love that I belong to a church who accepts them as made in the image of God.
I know this acceptance is not everyone’s story. I know my Christian best friend at school was beaten up on the way home from school by other Christians because he was gay even though he was not and had never been involved in “homosexual genital practice” at the time. The experience did not bring him closer to God. Another story – a peer in one church I attended came out as gay forcing his parents to publically apologise to the church shortly followed by a large number of my friends leaving the church as what had been a safe and welcoming place was now a hostile and judgemental one. I befriended another Christian couple where he felt gay but had entered a heterosexual marriage as that is what ‘God wanted’ – I do not believe God wanted either of them to feel trapped in a loveless marriage.
I never expected every church to decide to suddenly become accepting and affirming but I rejoiced that my local church could.
Personally, I believe this is the essence of what it means to be a Christian. I follow Jesus who always welcomed those who were pushed away including children, the sick, and tax collectors. Inclusion didn’t stop when Jesus left, it continued as the apostles slowly realised that the Good News was for the gentiles as well as the Jews. I believe it is also for those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, pansexual, a sexual, questioning as well as heterosexual.
I also believe the freedom to discern is fundamental to Baptist theology. A denomination which was founded on diversity and unity. A union of Calvinist and Armenians when that was the biggest theological argument in the church. We do not have a pope, there is no one set aside to intercede between us and God on the right way to view theology; instead we are a body of believers who must all find God in scripture and the lines between scripture where we interoperate how this applies to our lives and what the Spirit is saying today.
I am disappointed that you have been forced to retreat from the 13 May statement. I had been hoping and praying that the movement would be the other way to allow gay ministers to be open about who they really are. We already have ministers in civil partnerships; churches who disapprove would never call such a minister, there are other churches who would call them and would also happily name a committed union of two people a marriage. I also hoped that an affirming minister would be given the freedom to perform marriages in other churches e.g. churches in ministerial transition or where the minister was happy for it to happen but did not want to take part personally.
Your statement on 18 March 2016 asserts that you are re-affirming Biblical marriage. This is nonsense. Biblical marriage includes Jacob marrying two sisters (the first through mistaken identity) and then their two handmaids. There are lots of questions here – as a church we should not accept a marriage where the man does not know who the woman is and the woman has not even met the man. We would also be against polygamy. Biblical marriage includes Ruth uncovering Boaz’s feet while he slept, spending the night with him and then exchanging sandals in a marriage service the next day – I am not sure many conservative Christians would think kindly on encouraging women to spend the night with an older man to convince him to marry her. Biblical marriage includes Isaac marrying Rebecca by bringing her into his dead mother’s tent – a Biblical view of marriage which seems to imply that they became married when he “took” her. If we recognise marriage in the consummation then many people are already married. There is also something to consider here about arranged marriages – both talk to the servant and then marry each other, I am not sure that is a positive model for marriage preparation classes. Biblical marriage includes the command that if a man rapes a virgin he should then marry her – I do not want my church forcing rape victims to marry their attackers. Marriage as an institution is an evolving concept, what we have now with a legal contract and church ceremony with signing registers, white dresses and tux, vows, hymns… none of that would be recognised as Biblical marriage.
Your humbly urging (by definition a contradiction in terms) that we should refrain from conducting service of equal marriage is deeply upsetting. I and my church have remained in the Union. We have been very open with the LBA, with our district and others about our inclusive belief. No-one has asked us to leave. Nobody even challenged us until our regional ministers felt unable to represent us at settlement. One minister in our district affirmed us saying “I am not sure I agree theologically but I am pleased you are affirming as there needs to be someone willing to reach out to the gay community” (paraphrase).
I am sorry that there are churches threatening to leave the union. I hope they do not, but I find myself personally unable to retreat from affirming equal marriage. I hope my church does not retreat from it either when this is discussed in future. We are part of the body of Christ and one part cannot say to another “I do not need you”. We are here, we will not go away as we can’t; there are too many people we love whose lives may depend on us saying we do not condone homophobia whether it is overt or exclusive in nature.
I write this for all those who I know and love who are LGBT. For Anne, Becky, Ben, Calvin, Clair, Colin, Dan, Derek, Elliot, Geoff, Issy, Jack, Jak, Jake, Jamie, John, Jon, Julia, Larry, Lily, Martyn, Max, Megan, Milosh, Paul, Pete, Rachel, Ray, Rebeca, Richard, Rob, Rosie, Sam, Sophie, Steve, Tim, Tony, Wesley, William. Every single one of them IS made in the image of God and every one of them is also made lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.
I will continue to pray for our union as we continues to talk together on this important pastoral issue. I hope the next statement and the rules for ministers allows for a greater freedom in the Spirit.
Yours in Christ
Amy
(Some names changed)
Amy Louise Mackay Willshire
On 13 May 2014 the Baptist Union of Great Britain told me that they were “Upholding the liberty of a local church to determine its own mind on this matter, in accordance with our Declaration of Principle, we also recognise the freedom of a minister to respond to the wishes of their church, where their conscience permits, without breach of disciplinary guidelines.”
This was a great day. This was a day when I felt proud to be a Christian, in particular I felt proud to be a Baptist. Prior to that I was just Christian, I did not belong to any one denomination, if anything I was leaning slightly towards other denominations, particularly the URC as they were more accepting.
That statement meant the world to me. It meant that a teenager associated with our church could post on her Facebook page that now one day she could get married in her own church. It meant that a lady in our area, who had given up attending church because she was a lesbian, was able to join us and is now a church member. It meant that a male atheist friend who hates Christians and Christianity because he sees it as standing for oppression and judgement was able to come to church with his partner and feel welcomed even though they held hands during the service. I love all three of those people and I love that I belong to a church who accepts them as made in the image of God.
I know this acceptance is not everyone’s story. I know my Christian best friend at school was beaten up on the way home from school by other Christians because he was gay even though he was not and had never been involved in “homosexual genital practice” at the time. The experience did not bring him closer to God. Another story – a peer in one church I attended came out as gay forcing his parents to publically apologise to the church shortly followed by a large number of my friends leaving the church as what had been a safe and welcoming place was now a hostile and judgemental one. I befriended another Christian couple where he felt gay but had entered a heterosexual marriage as that is what ‘God wanted’ – I do not believe God wanted either of them to feel trapped in a loveless marriage.
I never expected every church to decide to suddenly become accepting and affirming but I rejoiced that my local church could.
Personally, I believe this is the essence of what it means to be a Christian. I follow Jesus who always welcomed those who were pushed away including children, the sick, and tax collectors. Inclusion didn’t stop when Jesus left, it continued as the apostles slowly realised that the Good News was for the gentiles as well as the Jews. I believe it is also for those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, pansexual, a sexual, questioning as well as heterosexual.
I also believe the freedom to discern is fundamental to Baptist theology. A denomination which was founded on diversity and unity. A union of Calvinist and Armenians when that was the biggest theological argument in the church. We do not have a pope, there is no one set aside to intercede between us and God on the right way to view theology; instead we are a body of believers who must all find God in scripture and the lines between scripture where we interoperate how this applies to our lives and what the Spirit is saying today.
I am disappointed that you have been forced to retreat from the 13 May statement. I had been hoping and praying that the movement would be the other way to allow gay ministers to be open about who they really are. We already have ministers in civil partnerships; churches who disapprove would never call such a minister, there are other churches who would call them and would also happily name a committed union of two people a marriage. I also hoped that an affirming minister would be given the freedom to perform marriages in other churches e.g. churches in ministerial transition or where the minister was happy for it to happen but did not want to take part personally.
Your statement on 18 March 2016 asserts that you are re-affirming Biblical marriage. This is nonsense. Biblical marriage includes Jacob marrying two sisters (the first through mistaken identity) and then their two handmaids. There are lots of questions here – as a church we should not accept a marriage where the man does not know who the woman is and the woman has not even met the man. We would also be against polygamy. Biblical marriage includes Ruth uncovering Boaz’s feet while he slept, spending the night with him and then exchanging sandals in a marriage service the next day – I am not sure many conservative Christians would think kindly on encouraging women to spend the night with an older man to convince him to marry her. Biblical marriage includes Isaac marrying Rebecca by bringing her into his dead mother’s tent – a Biblical view of marriage which seems to imply that they became married when he “took” her. If we recognise marriage in the consummation then many people are already married. There is also something to consider here about arranged marriages – both talk to the servant and then marry each other, I am not sure that is a positive model for marriage preparation classes. Biblical marriage includes the command that if a man rapes a virgin he should then marry her – I do not want my church forcing rape victims to marry their attackers. Marriage as an institution is an evolving concept, what we have now with a legal contract and church ceremony with signing registers, white dresses and tux, vows, hymns… none of that would be recognised as Biblical marriage.
Your humbly urging (by definition a contradiction in terms) that we should refrain from conducting service of equal marriage is deeply upsetting. I and my church have remained in the Union. We have been very open with the LBA, with our district and others about our inclusive belief. No-one has asked us to leave. Nobody even challenged us until our regional ministers felt unable to represent us at settlement. One minister in our district affirmed us saying “I am not sure I agree theologically but I am pleased you are affirming as there needs to be someone willing to reach out to the gay community” (paraphrase).
I am sorry that there are churches threatening to leave the union. I hope they do not, but I find myself personally unable to retreat from affirming equal marriage. I hope my church does not retreat from it either when this is discussed in future. We are part of the body of Christ and one part cannot say to another “I do not need you”. We are here, we will not go away as we can’t; there are too many people we love whose lives may depend on us saying we do not condone homophobia whether it is overt or exclusive in nature.
I write this for all those who I know and love who are LGBT. For Anne, Becky, Ben, Calvin, Clair, Colin, Dan, Derek, Elliot, Geoff, Issy, Jack, Jak, Jake, Jamie, John, Jon, Julia, Larry, Lily, Martyn, Max, Megan, Milosh, Paul, Pete, Rachel, Ray, Rebeca, Richard, Rob, Rosie, Sam, Sophie, Steve, Tim, Tony, Wesley, William. Every single one of them IS made in the image of God and every one of them is also made lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.
I will continue to pray for our union as we continues to talk together on this important pastoral issue. I hope the next statement and the rules for ministers allows for a greater freedom in the Spirit.
Yours in Christ
Amy
(Some names changed)
Amy Louise Mackay Willshire
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