Dear Stephen and Lynn,
I am writing to you both concerning the current live discussion with regarding SSM and the BUGB’s current position towards the LGBT community.
I feel that the best way I can do this is to give a brief account of how I originally came to my views regarding homosexuality and a memorable encounter that has influenced my views since.
I was brought up in what I now think of as a pretty typical middle class household to non Christian parents. I was sent to an all boys boarding school from the age of 10. I lived in rural Essex. I knew no-one of a different colour. I knew no-one of a ‘foreign’ religion. I knew no-one who was gay. I was ‘normal’, and as a ‘normal’ boy I made homophobic, racist and xenophobic jokes as did all my ‘normal’ friends.
At school I became a Christian and became conscious of my spiritual journey. It would have made a good story if this encounter with Christ immediately challenged all these foolish preconceptions but it didn’t. In fact, I am not sure it challenged my racism and xenophobia at all and it gave fresh strength to my homophobia as I was very good at learning bible verses (Lev 18:22 etc) (I am now more than a little embarrassed by this, but hey, its my story!)
Thankfully, after going to university, getting married, having children, becoming a Baptist minister and basically growing up (a bit) I have changed. Some of this change came through having lived in Jamaica for a year and moving from rural Essex to urban Yorkshire, but most of it came through meeting people of different race, religion and ethnicity, and reading theology from differing points of view.
My homophobia has been challenged in similar ways, and my gay friends have been very gracious and forbearing. One pastoral incident is worth recounting.
I had become the student minister of West Lane Baptist Church (where I am still the minister 16 years on), and one of the church members, Edward, had been mugged in his own home as he endeavoured to stop a burglary. I went to see him in hospital and before I went one of the church deacons took me aside and anxiously told me that “there are questions over his sexuality”. By saying this I am sure that she was trying to forewarn me for a reality that she was unsure that I could deal with. After half an hour with Edward I came away, smiling to myself, with ‘no questions over his sexuality…’
Over the next ten years Edward and I became firm friends and he continued to arrange the flowers for all the church Sunday services, weddings and funerals. Edward was always interested in how I was going on, how my family were and was a key member of the church community, but he only attended worship once a year on the church anniversary and always came with a friend who worked with him in his shop.
Six years ago, Edward hanged himself, leaving stipulations that no-one was to attend his funeral.
I am convinced that Edward would be alive today if he had felt able to be truly himself in his church and I am also convinced that the Good News of Jesus Christ would have been loudly proclaimed if Edward had been able to marry his partner of many years openly, rather than furtively never acknowledging the relationship in public.
I started this letter with a brief appraisal of how I came to my views through ignorance of other people and then bolstered these inherited views with biblical soundbites. Meeting real people and reading theology that challenged these soundbites, (in particular L. William Countryman (2007) Dirt, Greed, and Sex: Sexual Ethics in the New Testament and Their Implications for Today) has allowed me to see things very differently. I am afraid that the council statement ‘urge(ing) churches who are considering conducting same-sex marriages to refrain from doing so out of mutual respect’, has not helped me.
I recognise that this issue will not be solved without a great deal of heartache, but I feel as though I owe it to Edward (not his real name) to speak up. I shall continue to pray for our union.
Yours in Christ,
Chris.
I am writing to you both concerning the current live discussion with regarding SSM and the BUGB’s current position towards the LGBT community.
I feel that the best way I can do this is to give a brief account of how I originally came to my views regarding homosexuality and a memorable encounter that has influenced my views since.
I was brought up in what I now think of as a pretty typical middle class household to non Christian parents. I was sent to an all boys boarding school from the age of 10. I lived in rural Essex. I knew no-one of a different colour. I knew no-one of a ‘foreign’ religion. I knew no-one who was gay. I was ‘normal’, and as a ‘normal’ boy I made homophobic, racist and xenophobic jokes as did all my ‘normal’ friends.
At school I became a Christian and became conscious of my spiritual journey. It would have made a good story if this encounter with Christ immediately challenged all these foolish preconceptions but it didn’t. In fact, I am not sure it challenged my racism and xenophobia at all and it gave fresh strength to my homophobia as I was very good at learning bible verses (Lev 18:22 etc) (I am now more than a little embarrassed by this, but hey, its my story!)
Thankfully, after going to university, getting married, having children, becoming a Baptist minister and basically growing up (a bit) I have changed. Some of this change came through having lived in Jamaica for a year and moving from rural Essex to urban Yorkshire, but most of it came through meeting people of different race, religion and ethnicity, and reading theology from differing points of view.
My homophobia has been challenged in similar ways, and my gay friends have been very gracious and forbearing. One pastoral incident is worth recounting.
I had become the student minister of West Lane Baptist Church (where I am still the minister 16 years on), and one of the church members, Edward, had been mugged in his own home as he endeavoured to stop a burglary. I went to see him in hospital and before I went one of the church deacons took me aside and anxiously told me that “there are questions over his sexuality”. By saying this I am sure that she was trying to forewarn me for a reality that she was unsure that I could deal with. After half an hour with Edward I came away, smiling to myself, with ‘no questions over his sexuality…’
Over the next ten years Edward and I became firm friends and he continued to arrange the flowers for all the church Sunday services, weddings and funerals. Edward was always interested in how I was going on, how my family were and was a key member of the church community, but he only attended worship once a year on the church anniversary and always came with a friend who worked with him in his shop.
Six years ago, Edward hanged himself, leaving stipulations that no-one was to attend his funeral.
I am convinced that Edward would be alive today if he had felt able to be truly himself in his church and I am also convinced that the Good News of Jesus Christ would have been loudly proclaimed if Edward had been able to marry his partner of many years openly, rather than furtively never acknowledging the relationship in public.
I started this letter with a brief appraisal of how I came to my views through ignorance of other people and then bolstered these inherited views with biblical soundbites. Meeting real people and reading theology that challenged these soundbites, (in particular L. William Countryman (2007) Dirt, Greed, and Sex: Sexual Ethics in the New Testament and Their Implications for Today) has allowed me to see things very differently. I am afraid that the council statement ‘urge(ing) churches who are considering conducting same-sex marriages to refrain from doing so out of mutual respect’, has not helped me.
I recognise that this issue will not be solved without a great deal of heartache, but I feel as though I owe it to Edward (not his real name) to speak up. I shall continue to pray for our union.
Yours in Christ,
Chris.